Be the Change! Those words are ingrained into my life. If it wasn’t for those who made that statement apart of who they were, I, nor my two little men, would be here today.
I am a SURVIVOR of domestic violence. I am no longer a victim because of those who believed in making a difference and causing CHANGE to occur in my life. They loved, cared, prayed for and educated me. I was a victim of marital domestic violence for almost 10 years. Four (4) of those years included physical abuse. I went from being a vivacious, goal-oriented, education seeking girl of 19 to being an isolated, dependent upon my abuser woman of 30.
Every major sign of abuse was present during our dating relationship and marriage and up until our separation and divorce. I was oblivious; too afraid and ashamed to even consider it may be something that would be considered abuse. I was a youth minister’s wife and had been for most of my adult life. Abuse was not allowed to be present in our home and if it was I was told by my abuser it was surely by my doing.
Through prayer and God’s never ending love, I was able to crawl away. It was sometimes a moment by moment choosing, but it was a conscience decision to keep moving forward and further away from what was causing my boys and I so much pain . It’s been a very long, tedious and life changing decision, but one that has brought our little family back our joy and peace in knowing we are stronger and blessed. The boys and I were saved by the Grace of God and those who love and serve Him. They did not give up. Not even when I pushed them away. They spoke life into me and they were the CHANGE that saved us.
I am thankful for those who planted seeds in our lives. I hope to return those seeds back to them by raising my little men to be aware of their actions and words and to choose to demonstrate love through who they are. I, also, hope to help love and educate women and men who are in the same place I once was. A place of desperation, shame and extreme loneliness.
I am realizing daily, I was not broken by my abuser. I was preserved by my family, friends and my sweet Redeemer, Jesus, and I am a proud Survivor. We all three (3) are more than conquerors through Him and blessed with a deeper love and understanding than we deserve! I choose to make CHANGE happen through my experiences. My boys and I are still slowly healing and evolving into our own. It is uncomfortable, and sometimes down right hard, but we refuse to remain stagnant or return to what was.
Being the CHANGE is a part of our continuing journey!