After a stressful and emotionally draining week, God renewed my spirit. I’ve always found it interesting how God gives a message just to me, but also to everyone else in the room. Although this was a trying week, I am determined to let it go.
The issue that plagued me this week is something that has caused me difficulty intermittently for nearly 4 years. As much as I would like these individuals to take responsibility for their part in the situation, I don’t know if they will. I can’t live my life expecting or hoping they will. And if they do? How will that change my life? Who doesn’t want an apology for wrong doing, but overall, I’m the one who must take responsibility for my well-being.
God gives me the strength to deal with this journey. He has a greater purpose for me than focusing on these few individuals, who like to grumble and complain. None of us are perfect. Luckily for me, I know that. I can take responsibility for MY actions. I’ve heard for the 2nd time this week that maybe the joy and light in me, is what makes them so incensed. When I was told this, I didn’t really believe it because I KNOW I’m not perfect and I can see all my flaws. But just like a cracked pot, God allows light to shine out of our broken imperfections.
I’ve decided I need to let go and let God. I need to focus on myself, my work, and allow God to use me. I’ve been distracted by others this week.
I’m a people pleaser. I wish I could say I’m in recovery from this, but I’m not there yet. There are times when my people pleasing side is switched off and other times I’m crushed by it.
If I only worried and cared more about what I’m doing for God and pleasing him, I would be in a far better place. Why is this? Possibly because I know God loves me so much that he sent his very son to die for me. I know that no matter how much I mess up, he will love me. I don’t have to EARN his love. He knows I’m a hot mess and he loves me anyways. He accepts me as I am.
I need to change my perception. I need to take the focus away from me. I need to place it on my calling. I have a heart to love, care, help, and comfort others in their time of need. I forget all about this and lose focus when I’m attacked by certain individuals. That’s been the plan ALL along to distract me from my calling, to distract me WITH me, to take away from the good work I can do to help and comfort others.
This writing is a testament to make a daily, hourly, minute by minute change starting with redirecting my focus. I pray that God keeps me focused this week on what he has called me to do and removes the baggage I allow to keep me down.
Thankfully, I have some really amazing people who are praying for me along my journey.
God has given me an outlet to share and hopefully make a difference for people out there struggling like me. Just know it may not be ABOUT you that you are being distracted but that you are doing great works that you are being distracted FROM.
I am blessed beyond measure that this was brought to my attention, so I can make a change in my life this week.
“So stand in the rain, stand your ground
stand up when its all crashing down
you stand through the pain, you won’t down
and one day what’s lost can be found
you stand in the rain”